Tantric Sex 101 

The word Tantric, derives from an ancient Hindu practice where in Sanskrit it means, “weaving together of energies.”

In addition, for me it means, “the expansion of energies and your consciousness to rise above and float past the clouds to HR = Higher Realms.” Basically tapping into that part of you that is infinite. That part of you that is unwavering. That part of that you is confident. That part of you that cannot be created, nor destroyed. And well, I could go on,..but you get the point right?

Many times I have walked past the brass statues where I usually see a male and female figure facing one another. I have asked myself many times before, are they just facing each other and just … sitting there?

Now as I look closer, I know nah… That’s not it! They weren’t just ‘holding a pose,’ and just sitting there, they were connecting on a much deeper level. A Cosmic level. A place where ideas are birthed!

Just to be clear. The practice of tantra is not a heterosexual experience. No! Far from that! It can be between two men and two women as well! It is a human sexual experience of all the senses.  Energies are encompassed, engulfed and expressed in both the male and female form, and how the pair chooses to express their pure ecstatic expression in motion is well..ineffable. So let’s break the hetero-normative paradigm shall we and explore our multi-faceted fine selves! The old paradigm is as outdated as this old cell phone. Time to move on, shall we.

So, I know we hear A LOT about tantric sex now a days. But what exactly is tantric sex? And can it be defined?

I think looking at its origin gives us a clue at to how the concept was initially brought into play and practiced. Which I believe, awakened the god or goddess within all of us. Literally, waking up your deities within, especially depicted in ancient times artwork and drawings. I won’t get into too much of that here because I want to focus more on the profound effects tantra can have on your life.

Many times, tantra is not about an ‘end goal’ in mind, meaning, having an orgasm. But that’s okay if you do! Hooray!

It’s more a slower process with a different focus. It is creating a safe and sacred space, uninterrupted, where you and your partner get to explore that cosmic energy and each other’s bodies in a really, slow, manner… being very present and awake with one another. And trust me, you don’t get tired of the slow moments.

Your partner is basically treated like the god/goddess that s/he is! And the exploration is more of self, the cosmos, him/her and because your partner gets to witness what is brought forth in the magnificent vessel that you call your body. It it is a very connective moment. A spark, in fact!

Your partner acts as your anchor, anchoring you to the ground, to Earth. To Gaia. To the physical plane, with your heavy bodies. In fact, both your bodies do this while you go and extend yourself freely to explore the depths of the oceans and the light of the cosmos within your mind, body and soul (eternity.)

As you begin to draw pure ecstatic energy into your body, from the spark that you are when you two light a fuze together. You get to stoke that flame to allow it to rise within your body, activating and opening all your chakras!

You begin to carry that cosmic life force NRG from your root chakra (pussy/cock area) to your gut, your solar plexus, your heart, your throat, your arms, your hands, your elbows, your knees, your feet, your mind, the Crown. Take that cosmic life force way up, up, up beyond the core with a deep yet gentle inhale as you open, exhale it up, up, and around.

Have that cosmic life force: Regenerate, Rejuvenate, and Restore every single cell in your body!

And if you think there is just 7 chakras that most people talk about, you’re dead wrong. There are so many more! And I am looking forward to you discovering them on your own! 🙂

Now how cool is that?!

That you allow this cosmic life force to activate your body, your partner’s body, close the sacred circuitry by facing one another and holding one another, Root to Root, and driving that energy up your spine and allowing it to disperse through your central nervous system (CNS) and sympathetic nervous system (SNS.)

This is why the kundalini exercises, again rooted in ancient Hindu wisdom and tradition, usually depict an image of two snakes rooted at the base of your root chakra, your lower spine and these snakes awaken and climb up your spine, intertwined, and awaken all your senses!

Did you know that not only did the Hindus have the snakes wake up your spine, but the Greeks had a double snake too?! You don’t say…no wait, totally different regions yet same topic…(scratches head.)

It was called, The Staff of Hermes (caduceus.) A ‘fictional’ staff that portraits two snakes climbing up one column (coughs…spine) and the goddess Iris, is usually depicted with it. Iris being the personification of a rainbow.

She linked the world of humans to the world of the gods! Hence rainbow, that which you cannot physically touch but you can see…like inner deities and gods, I guess?! I wonder what they were all eluding to..in ancient times. But I digress. Moving on. 

So back to the pose of facing one another, which is pretty intense in an intimate setting because you are literally holding your partner in your arms, wrapping her tightly, and loving all the bits and pieces of her that she may not love of herself. You hold space for her without judgement. That’s pretty powerful stuff. I would read that again if I were you.

Make her gleam/glow. Like a golden light of energy around her, around you, about the both of you coming together like a vesica pieces. Like worlds colliding into one another.

Make her feel loved. Make her feel…like a goddess like she truly is and always was. Serve as that reminder for her and yourself. Imagine, just imagine what this exercise will do for you both:

• Imagine taking that blissful euphoric energy into your business meeting?
• When you go grocery shopping?
• When you hang out with friends?
• When you walk down the street.
• How you wake up in the mornings? Imagine that! How fully present and loved you truly are! You’re not going to be the same again, trust me because you’re going to be MORE of WHO YOU REALLY ARE.

Your partner has the honour of FOCUSING that cosmic infinite intelligence and unconditional love your way, and holds you steady like an unwavering, steady ship in the stormy seas. When you are showered with that kind of love which I believe the cosmos is made out of and the very fabric of our reality. You’re pretty much unstoppable as you already are.

It’s pretty magical and freeing isn’t it? Knowing you are loved that much, that unconditionally? Where you embody eternity in one moment from the next. It doesn’t mean you’re going to go about your day not feeling crappy at times. Even crappy thoughts have messages to tell. They are usually saying, stop thinking crappy thoughts! lol Or better yet, look squirrel! 🙂

Anyway all I’m saying is…wait, what am I saying again? Oh yes, all I’m saying is, you get to RETURN TO THIS feeling ANYTIME you want! And make decisions from this stable constant point of view that is. That unwavering you. That infinite you. That part of you that is self care talk. That part of you that loves every bit of you. How cool is that? That you get to return your breath to you..!

Like a picture frame snapshot, you take love with you everywhere you go because it never left you. That is who you are at your very core.

People wouldn’t know what happened or what to do around you! But they know they would want to be around that infectious energy that is you!

So if you are looking for a dynamite, explosive exercise with your partner. Look no further!

I have one for you here and now! And without further delay, here we go!

Steps:

1 – Make sure you are comfortable and decide between the two, who feels better as to who sits bottom and who sits up top, facing one another 🙂

2 – Set a positive intention for an open, connected, cosmic experience 🙂 Have fun with all this!

3 – Eye gaze for a bit 🙂 Just sit there, still. Stare at the black holes of each other’s eyes and WAKE UP THAT COSMIC NRG INSIDE OF THEM! INSIDE OF YOU! MAKE IT SPARK! Wake it up! And tell the cosmos, tell your partner, I see you! (PS – can somebody tell me what they see in the black hole image below, I thought heart, then owl, and then I got dizzy so thought I’d ask. Comment on this post below!)

4 – Place your hand over your partner’s heart. And connect to their heart’s code.

5 – Feel your partner’s heartbeat. Literally. Feel her beat with the palms of your hands on your chests. That’s a cosmic life charge, her infinite battery supply and charger!

6 – Synchronize your breathing, your internal ‘clocks’ to one another. Do this for a minute or two. Usually one will lead the breath. Follow her/him, the one who breathes more deeply. They will lead the way. Deep breathing is gut breathing. A micro-cosmic orbit breath we call it! So, belly out = balloon fills up with O2, belly in = balloon deflates with CO2. (not your chests my friends…)

7 – Prepare to feel tingly ! AHHHHH!!!! It’s happening! Life force NRG re-entering your body! Coming alive! You might have felt it earlier with eye gazing and the micro orbit cosmic breath!

8 – You can do guided meditations here… I have some instructions for you in upcoming posts to follow!

9 – Set the intention to go slow, soft kisses. Have your partner remind you, if you set the ‘end goal’ to no orgasm, than remind your partner to ‘edge it.’ Edge the orgasm and ride it like a tidal wave. One will be the giver. The other, a receiver. And you can alternate this after. Whatever it is that you do, go SLOW. Take your time. And did I mention go slow?  lol

And if you feel uncomfortable with this KISS GIF above, I kindly invite you to do a … belief system and cultural BS (bullshit) meter check 🙂 Cuz you might be carrying a lot of shit with you, just sayin’ Time to ‘clean up’ house

Anyway, what you do after, is up to you. But you started it with a very powerful and present exercise that you will carry with you during and after.

Just remember to STAY THERE with your partner, and be present for every moment.

To every touch, smell, sound, taste, sight, that is involved.

As they say, this is just the beginning.

And remember, whatever you do. Consciously choose to do it with LOVE or…just don’t do it all.

Happy cosmic connecting everyone!

Hugs XO

Pam