I remember reading the Stanford Business study on CEOs and Coaching.

The study stated that nearly two thirds of CEOs do not receive outside leadership or consulting yet nearly 100% of them want it!

Isn’t that nuts? How could someone, especially in a key decision making role, not allow or decide on what he or she wants?

I remember the first time I worked with a CEO client. I thought, “This is great. I want to know what are their common challenges. What are some key things I can do to impact their company and life in a HUGE way?” (sorry, watching too much Donald Trump – Love you Donald! You are HUGE!)

So, guess what? Here I was thinking it would be different but I was not surprised. CEOs and Executives have the same challenges as any key player in any organization – CONFIDENCE.

Common things they say to themselves:

• Am I doing this right?
• Is this the right decision?
• What would the others think if I did this?
• Am I making the right decision for my team and company?
• What will the outcome be?
• Can I Trust this person?
• Relationships
• Family, etc.

And here’s the rub. If you are feeling a bit wobbly at the ‘top,’ it is because you don’t know who you are or who you want to be. Yes that is a bold statement but you have indecisions because you are not secure or confident in you. Period.

You see, the nature of the decisions of CEOs and other team members may be different but the core is the same. We are all human beings and we all want to be loved. And guess what, if you think I’m off here, answer this:  As a business owner, entrepreneur, or leader don’t you want your company to be loved? Do you want people to love your product? Love your service(s)? Love your leadership? Love your message? What do you think branding is? You want the customers, clients and everyone to experience your, ‘love mark.’ You want to be appreciated at work. Loved. There is a reason why John MacKay mentioned the word LOVE in his book, Conscious Capitalism, 100 times – NOPE, 200 times, NOPE… He mentioned the word love over 700 times! What’s a business without love? Well it’s a business without a pulse.

Period.

Here’s the thing. Don’t go looking for love in all the wrong places. In your staff, in your products, in your profits, it’s in you. Love you first, then love your team. Unconditionally! Don’t place conditions or terms or policy or rules or regulations on your team members and should you set them free – watch them flourish.

One of the key takeaways for CEOs and Executives in the study (and I would say it applies to everybody) is this:

“Becoming a CEO doesn’t mean that you suddenly have all the answers, and these top executives realize that there is room for growth for everyone. We are moving away from coaching being perceived as ‘remedial’ to where it should be: something that improves performance, similar to how elite athletes use a coach.”

Here’s the thing, it is lonely at the top because YOU created it that way or co-created in it that way. Change is inevitable. Shift your focus and results will follow. It is law.

Companies now are coming up with what they call, ‘flat organizations.’ This new system is to promote people with more collaboration and collapse the hierarchical structure. Software programs like SLACK do some amazing things in creating a platform where multiple people can collaborate and stay appraised on projects. Here’s the thing though at the end of the day; if your organization is not beating at the pulse of camaraderie and collaboration, no software program or  ‘flat’ structure organization is going to save you!

It starts with YOU as the organization reflects your pulse. Your conviction in decision-making. Your camaraderie. Your trust. Your belief. The system does not do it for you. YOU DO IT! So, as Dan Peña Says, “Just f’n do it!”

It does not matter if your organization is flat, round, an octagon, or whatever. Organizations will always change. Change is constant. The only determining and common factor among it all is you! And your team! So INVEST IN YOU.

As the great Jim Rohn once said, “Formal education will make you a living; self-education will make you a fortune.”

All I am saying is that you are not in it alone. Nobody does it alone.

Here are the cold hard facts on what CEOs use coaching to improve on…

Top Areas CEOs Use Coaching to Improve:

• Sharing leadership/delegation
• Conflict management
• Team building
• Mentoring

Bottom of the list:

• Motivational skills
• Compassion/empathy
• Persuasion skills

When asked, “Whose decision was it for you to receive coaching?” 78% of CEOs said it was their own idea. Twenty-one percent said it was the Board Chairman’s idea.

Okay this is what baffles me. How can a CEO have Team building and mentoring on the TOP of their list when they are so separated from their team? Unlike the Leaders I have come across and embody, (found here Leadership and Decision-Making), why the gap in so many?

To the leadership team – running an authentic leadership experience means being an authentic leader. It means building relationships by talking to your teammates not just about business but how their home life is, what is troubling them, what makes them smile, what ignites them. It doesn’t mean to take on other people’s problems but to listen from your heart. That is how you actively listen and BE PRESENT. And when change can authentically occur, it does.

Here’s the thing – the ‘stuff’ at the BOTTOM of their list – that fuzzy stuff about compassion and empathy. Well, here’s the big secret – that fuzzy stuff is the core for building a SOLID FOUNDATION for the stuff up top. You cannot be an empowering team member or look towards conflict management without giving a shit! I am not one for motivation, as I believe in inspiration. In + Spirit + Action = Eternal Alignment. But that is another topic. In his book “Disruptive” Jonathan Keyser really hits it out of the park, and unapologetically so, about company leaders that think they embody a service model but don’t – not even close!

How can you go about conflict resolution without knowing your teammates and being separated from them? 

Miles states: “A lot of people (meaning coaches) steer away from coaching some of the less tangible skills because they are uncomfortable with touching on these areas or really don’t have the capability to do it.”

Seriously? Most coaches steer away from the fuzzy stuff. This is the core of every being. Vibration. Energy. Emotions. Deliberate Creation. I can go on! How would you ever want to create a profound change without tapping into the hearts of your people?

Leadership is a state of being.

Once you take that, and apply your new understanding of the natural laws of the universe and tap into your ETERNAL BEING. Now, you start to leverage a stream of consciousness that radiates throughout your body and your team. It is contagious.

These are the people who meditate, the CEOs who take a break every 6 weeks and go out in nature and turn their tech off; the Ones that listen to the whispers of the wind.

So stand strong and steady in your decisions and your vision. Carve it out. Own it. Share it. Inspire others.  

The leaders I work with and develop, at the end of the day, they have heart. If you haven’t got your heart in it, people can smell that miles away. Put your heart in it, and you will go places.

You don’t have to walk the road alone.

Imagine Bertie, the KING of England, without his Lionel Logue. Imagine if he had ‘done it alone,’ and if their relationship did not occur. What would Bertie have done without that powerful influence and relationship of a trusted friend and coach? Remember the beginning of their relationship? The soon to be King was very resistant to Lionel, yet something inside of him kept bringing him back. If you think their relationship had to do with him fixing his stuttering, then you need to watch the King’s Speech again.

You see, the rest just follows from that trusted and sacred relationship. It’s the secret sauce of any great relationship. TRUST. And a bit of humor.

And to take this one step further, if we are all stardust (and this has been proven), and we are all reflections of the ONE, and in the end I am you and you are me… you really are just trusting yourself.

Best demonstrated in one of my favorite poems by Oscar Wilde, The Disciple, the pool that Narcissus would lay beside and looked at expressed this:

And the pool answered, ‘But I loved Narcissus because, as he lay on my banks and looked down at me, in the mirror of his eyes I saw ever my own beauty mirrored.’

You see. This is what I do with my clients all day, everyday. I mirror THE BEST IN YOU. For I am just a figment and a reflection of your imagination as you are mine. And this is all merely a dream… Poof!

Be Curious. Play More. Be Happy.

With unwavering love,

Pam

Image Source: http://www.kingsgate.co.uk